Letting Your Kids Fail | Video

Julie Leonardi | 3/14/2013

There are many different styles of parenting, and one way is to allow your children fail. Some parents may think, “I want my child to always succeed.” But if you never give them a chance to fail, they may never learn how to pick themselves back up.

There`s a fine line between supportive parents, and helicopter parents.

“A lot of times, that doesn’t allow students to really learn how to do things for themselves, how to find the appropriate resources to have in order to be successful,“ said Beth Odahlen, Center for Engaged Teaching and Learning Director for Minot State University.

Of course parents want their children to do the best they can at everything. But giving them a chance to fail and pick themselves up right after may help them develop into better adults.

“If you stand there and let them struggle a little bit, although it’s uncomfortable for both of you, there’s a lesson to be learned and the child will come out learning how to do something versus having someone do it for them.”

Many parents encourage their children to study, and some may routinely check their homework for them. But the next step is to make sure the kids can do the work on their own.

“Giving children, young to old, the opportunity to not do well at something, so they can learn how to do it. So they develop strategies for what to do when something is hard,” said Lisa Borden-King with the Office of Teaching and Advisement and Field Development for Minot State University.

The most important thing a parent can do once they let their child fail is to make sure they can learn from it, and they have the tools to succeed.

“If kids have the tools the strategies to be successful, then they should fail if they don’t use them.”

But letting your kids fails doesn`t mean stop helping. You need to decide what an appropriate amount of help is for your child and to step in if they don`t have the tools to succeed.

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